The world has been engulfed by Trump turmoil. All creatures nice and small have been affected, from the penguins on the distant island which were hit with a ten% tariff in the event that they dare to export their cuteness, to the billionaires who’ve seen billions lopped off the worth of their firms on the inventory markets.
Such is the sheer quantity of the terrifying, pain-inducing and ludicrous outpourings from the White Home that the information web sites should absolutely be considering of awarding Trump a separate class within the listing on their residence pages. Information, Trump, Politics, Opinion, Sport … Or maybe Agent Orange can be extra applicable.
After all, it’s us who will undergo essentially the most from this monetary catastrophe — value will increase and job losses the obvious traumas. In these circumstances it might be egocentric to dwell on our quickly worsening issues within the media enterprise. However it’s true that for a very long time now the thought of job safety has been a pleasure from the previous.
And because the state of affairs steadily worsens once I get up from a troubled sleep at 3am with the primary thought on my thoughts being: “I need to reinvent myself.” That is actually a ridiculous idea as a result of this 12 months I attain the age the place I ought to count on to be introduced with the faux gold watch and ushered to the exit door.
The one reinventing I ought to be doing is deciding whether or not I need to turn out to be an outdated Greek man who sits at a desk outdoors a kind of idyllic cafes on one of many islands sipping small cups of potent espresso, alongside a glass of much more potent ouzo and nibbling on a plate of olives. The chairs are painted blue and the blindingly white wall is host to a fastidiously educated bougainvillea lined in magenta flowers.
Or I may reinvent myself as an outdated geezer sitting on the stoep of a kind of quaint outdated homes in Churchhaven — I feel there are nonetheless just a few that haven’t been renovated by wealthy enterprise folks — gazing over the light waters of the Langebaan Lagoon whereas sipping on a gin and tonic.
I’d higher snap out of this practice of thought as a result of I should maintain working till I drop. And if it’s not as a journalist then it must be one thing else.
Having a aspect hustle is midway to an entire reinvention, and I’ve had a few these. A love of vegetation and gardening was instilled in me by my mom via many hours of slave labour in her backyard. Some mates noticed that I had some data and abilities and requested me to assist with their gardens.
Finally I took the plunge and left journalism to start out a landscaping enterprise. Miraculously I discovered that I may make sufficient cash to help my modest way of life, however I lacked the ruthless instincts of an actual enterprise particular person and couldn’t make the step as much as earn actual cash. I had inexperienced fingers however couldn’t flip them into bucks.
So once I turned a father I went again to a salaried job in journalism. With the profit of hindsight it was not a good suggestion to name the enterprise Backyard Boy. On the time it appeared like a cheeky reference to one of many extra ridiculous phrases from the current apartheid previous.
As an acquaintance, who had a vital authorities job and knew lots of Joburg’s wealthier residents, mentioned: “You don’t count on Patrice Motsepe to offer you a job with a reputation like that, do you?”
Extra just lately I turned one other one in all my hobbies right into a aspect hustle. This time it was my love of scouring second hand outlets for what some folks would possibly name outdated junk however others see as treasure. And this occupation has many names as properly: the marginally insulting “smous”, the plain outdated “collectibles dealer” and the extra fancy “antiques seller”.
I had a stall as soon as a month at a carboot sale in Benoni. It was fascinating to turn out to be part of this world of eccentric merchants and obsessive collectors. I found I had shrewd instincts about what folks needed (outdated bottles, wood device packing containers, classic instruments, bits of wrought iron, pot vegetation) and a few beforehand undiscovered abilities as a salesman.
“You’ve simply bought quite a lot of shit, and individuals are shopping for it,” mentioned the envious man with the stall subsequent to me.
I spent my spare time scouring charity outlets, auctions and fetes for stuff to resell. The joys of the hunt was addictive and to unearth a uncommon merchandise for a discount value was exhilarating.
In all probability my best second was discovering a signed, numbered print by the South African poet and artist, Wopko Jensma. It was on the ground of a dingy charity store in Rosettenville and I paid R30.
One other nice discover was a seat from a Johannesburg tram sitting forlornly within the backyard of a Bedfordview residence for older folks. The seat could possibly be flipped over so when the tram turned for residence on its journey the seat all the time confronted ahead. Then there was the classic South African Railways wood workbench with the unique strong steel vice.
With a little bit of laborious work these aspect hustles could possibly be revived and supply some much-needed earnings. However maybe I ought to faucet into my intensive assortment of vinyl data and turn out to be a DJ. I do know some older gents who’ve made successful of this, and because the Reba McEntire/Future’s Little one (take your decide) tune says, “I’m a survivor.”